The Trap of the Catholic Scorecard
Have I spent so much time
trying to become
the Catholic I think I ought to be
that I’ve forgotten to appreciate
the Catholic I am?
When did being Catholic
become something to perfect
rather than something to cherish?
Sometimes, in my eagerness to grow,
I begin keeping score.
Did I pray enough?
Was I kind enough?
Patient enough?
Generous enough?
Prayer becomes something to perfect.
Kindness, something to tally.
Patience, something to master.
Generosity, something to prove.
And slowly, almost without noticing,
faith becomes a scorecard.
But Catholicism is a spiritual home,
not a ledger.
It is a Divine friendship,not a task.
It is my mother tongue,
the language I speak
to converse with God.
And there is so much here
that I love.
I love Pope Leo.
The rhythm of the liturgical year.
The smells and bells.
The art and music.
The centuries of thought and theology.
The familiar warmth of a parish pew.
These are not boxes to check.
They are gifts to receive.
Yes, I am called to grow.
To become kinder.
More patient.
More generous.
More faithful.
But perhaps growth begins
by putting down the scorecard.
Because I am also called
to receive.
To reach forward
without overlooking
what I already possess.
To become
without forgetting to be.
“Always be ready to give an explanation
to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.” 1 Peter 3:15
The reason for my hope?
Perhaps it is simpler
than I have made it out to be.
I have a faith
that gives meaning to my days.
A Church I call home.
And a God who walks with me
as I grow.
I do not have to wait
until I become the Catholic
I think I ought to be
to cherish the CatholicI already am.
Maybe it is time
to stop keeping score
long enough to be grateful
for the life of faith
I have been given.
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