• Claire's post

What Was I Thinking!


Will the meeting (in my head) please come to order!


I’d like to say a few words to all the parts of myself.


Yes you, the anxious over-thinker,

dragging a large rock uphill -

trying to nudge the Catholic Church

in the right direction…

which, for you,

is to the left.



And you,

the avid T.V. watcher,

who has shown up,

but is simply biding your time

until this meeting adjourns

so you can check out what’s new on Acorn TV.


Then there’s you in the corner.

The good little girl

who still wants

to please everybody.



And the aging woman,

ever trying to strike a balance

between

relishing the wisdom of time and experience,

and

fearing diminishment

and being sidelined.


Listen up, all you roles I play:

wife, neighbor, mother,

facilitator, grandmother, writer,

mother-in-law, sister, citizen,

party planner, parishioner,

laundress, Catholic, friend, blogger.


We all believe that God is incarnate…

that Emmanuel…God with us…

abides within our collective essence.

So why doesn’t God

have a seat

at this table?



If every aspect of myself believes

that God is the author of my story,

why do I keep trying

to steal the pen?


Why do I look around

for something more

than what God

has already given me?


I’ll tell you why.


Between the internal chatter

and the unrelenting static

of the culture,

God's voice is mostly

talked over…

out maneuvered…

ignored.



God lies inside us,

deep inside.

Fully respecting our freedom,

God’s voice is never overpowering.


But God does speak a

continuous,

low,

unremitting imperative…

a compulsion toward something

that is always greater

and more expansive

than I am capable of imagining

or executing on my own.


In order to hear God’s voice,

I'm asking all the aspects of who I am

to stand down,

and simply let God be God,

which is to say,

trust God to love

each and every part of me.


So today,

I invite all my parts,

all the roles I play,

to hold hands...

to be silent...

and to find

comfort,

unity,

communion,

in the presence of

each other’s

silent company.


Now,

together,

we pray

Edwina Gately’s

remarkable prayer.




Good work!

Meeting Adjourned.

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